It's now or never. I ain't gonna live forever. I just want to live while I'm alive.

Well, for about two hours yesterday I was convinced I wasn’t going to live through the day thanks to the transportation situation in Cameroon. I had to go to Buea to figure out how to extend my visa, which of course, didn’t get figured out at all, but so it goes with bureaucracy in Cameroon. Anyways, as I entered the truck to go to Buea I noticed there were seatbelts! This excited me more than I will ever be able to explain to you. But of course, they weren’t functioning which I realized after I asked the driver, “Stanley, can I use this seatbelt?” and he replied “Honey, you are in Africa.” I guess I am, huh? After about twenty minutes crammed in the backseat of an extended cab truck with three other people and the back of the truck fishtailing as we soared down the road that switched every mile or so from pavement to loose dirt with huge pot holes, I informed Stanley that I thought he had gone mad and I wanted to trek instead of riding with him. He laughed and told me to sit back and enjoy the ride. Well, I sat back, but just prayed for the rest of the two hour trip and tried to keep my eyes closed. Those of you who know me and know my history with motorized vehicles will understand how much courage traveling here takes for me. Man, it’s tough, but it’s now or never, right? And, I mean, finding Herbal Essence hair conditioner once I got to Buea made it all worth the journey. Haha. Of course, I refused to ride with the man on the way home. The minivan crammed with poorly constructed home made seats for fifteen people and overflowing with luggage on top that probably weighed more than the vehicle itself seemed like the safer of the two options. Another new experience for this girl, that’s for sure. I made it home safely though, I’m happy to report. Even after realizing I had been sleeping with my head on the man’s shoulder next to me, haha, oops, he was nice about it at least. Other than my random scary travel moments, things continue to go amazingly well, knock on wood.

Work is more rewarding than ever as my relationships with my clients and the staff at the hospital continue to grow and deepen. However, I haven’t had as much client interaction time as I did previously because for the past week or so I have been trying to finish reading this book on Christian counseling, writing reports, planning talks I need to give in the very near future, trying to figure out my visa situation and fighting off this cold that continues to linger. But, I am looking forward to having more client time starting next week. I am also going to begin working in reception which will give me more face to face time with the patients and hopefully continue my growing base knowledge of pigin. Also, our next social group meeting is this Saturday which I am really looking forward to. Agie is giving a talk on nutrition and I will be giving a talk on improving communication skills. If the clients permit, Agie wants us to take some pictures to show you all exactly what we are doing. We will see how well that goes over.

I attended a new church last Sunday with Maryann, who continues to be such a blessing to me here. We went to the church that is right next to the health center complex. Most of the staff from the health center worship there, so it was very nice to walk in and see so many familiar faces. The service was amazing. This church is very new and is a very young congregation. They have drums, keyboards, and an incredible singer that help to get the service going. Let me tell you, the Touchberry’s were right, this service definitely seemed like more of a three hour rock concert than a church service, especially to a girl who grew up Catholic. It was incredible. Oh man, I wish I could describe the energy in the room to all of you, but the best things in life can’t be described in words I suppose. Maryann and I spent the day together after church and attending a gathering at her friend’s house. Maryann continues to amaze me. She informed me this time that somehow in her busy schedule she also manages to volunteer at the women’s prison in Kumba through the Business and Professional Women’s Organization (don’t you belong to that mom? BPW? Funny.) Anyways, she said that she is going to talk to the Warden and see if I can accompany her. I am really hoping that this works out. Along with pastoral care, one of passions is hospice, especially in a prison setting. So, I think this would be a very eye opening experience. I will keep you posted on that.

I also got to visit Pastor Janet last week. Agie and I went to one of her five congregations to give an HIV/AIDS talk and ask the congregation to set up an HIV/AIDS committee. Pastor Janet is in charge of five, very rural village congregations that are all based near her home. The trip out to this congregation was amazing. Agie and I had our bikeman friend, Eric, bring us out to the village. Wow, it was breathe taking. As we drove down the road, all three of us crammed on this little motorcycle, the scenery changed from dusty, muddy city streets to rows and rows of beautiful trees with white trunks and green as far as you could see. The temperature also dropped by maybe 10 degrees and we just soaked it all in, enjoying the fresh air. This was the first time ever I was glad I was on a motorcycle because I really felt like I could experience everything that surrounded us as we past. Of course, I forgot my camera on that trip (which Agie scolded me for over and over again), but I assure you I will bring it when we go back next month. This is something you all need to see. Also, on the way home Pastor Janet’s bike broke down, so all FOUR of us had to cram onto our little bike. However, the addition of Pastor Janet seemed like a blessing more than bothersome, even though my butt hurt a lot by the time we got home.

I continue to be amazed by the faithfulness of the people in Cameroon. Living in a developing country makes it a lot easier to notice how God’s grace works in your life everyday. Besides my courage growing daily mainly due to transportation my faith journey seems to be taking some incredible turns as well. People are so open about their faith here. It is just not a big deal at all to have an intense theological debate on a daily basis which is a big change from attending Macalester in Minnesota, even as a religious studies major. The sermons really speak to people and get inside their heads. Instead of just words it is easy to see people turning it into action which is something that still escapes a lot of us in the US.

As for me, I’m off to start turning these tomatoes into some sauce to prove to Agie that I learned something in our cooking lesson last week. I will never forget the image of Agie, her son Dennis, and her mother Mami Lydia looking over my shoulder as I tried to shred onions, tomatoes, leeks, etc. into the sauce. They were all laughing hysterically at my “weak little arms.” Haha. I’m not going to lie, my body is definitely weak. I mean come on, I’m five feet tall and a total wuss, but I assure you my faith is strengthening by the day, maybe even the hour or minute. I should be going, time to cook. I will include some more pictures. These are from Agie’s dedication into the Christian Women’s Fellowship at the Church, her party afterwards, and our cooking sessions with Mami Lydia, she looks angry all the time, but is the sweetest woman you will ever meet, so don’t let it scare you.

Agie looking gorgeous on her big day.


The women lined up to process into church.


My baby bro, Dennis, and I hanging out after the big ceremony. He wants me to teach him how to be a "cool dude," . . . I'm trying.


Mami Lydia enjoying my first Cameroonian dish! She may not look like she is enjoying it, but I assure you, she LOVED it!


Agie and Dennis really LOVE my cooking! Can't you tell?


After much persuading, I FINALLY got Mami Lydia to smile for the camera! HOORAY!


Alright, I seriously have to go now. Don't want to disappoint Mami Agie with a late meal. I hope everyone is doing well! Send me an e-mail or something and let me know. Take care!

I like the dream of the future not the history of the past.

I’m sorry I haven’t had the chance to write lately, but things have been crazy busy. I don’t really even know where to start. I will break it down into subsections to make it easy to read and understand the various areas of my life right now. Get ready for a long one. Maybe there will be a little treat at the end so you definitely want to read the entire thing!

Work: Well, I’m still struggling a bit. As I mentioned before, the program I am using was developed in Europe and is used in South Africa (basically still Europe), so it is not really translating that well into this culture. I think the idea of memory work will be able to work here eventually and be extremely beneficial, but the memory book activity itself is not really such a big hit. The song lyric I used to title this post is from a song we sing in church and is the perfect explanation for why the activity is not working. The clients don’t want to think about their past, in fact, most of them don’t know a lot about their pasts, for example their family backgrounds. Every client I have talked to wants to focus on how he/she can begin to feel free from worry and bitterness and live positively now.

So, most of what I end up doing is Christian counseling. We set up an action plan for the client for the following week, three things he/she will do that helps them to relax and feel free. Usually at least one of these things has to do with his/her faith (e.g. going to church, reading bible passages, singing church hymns). Then, the client comes back the following week, we discuss any problems or questions that came up, discuss bible passages, and start a new plan for the next week. It seems to be going well and I think it’s a good process for the patient to begin to open up and feel comfortable talking.

Psychology is very different here than in the West. The West is extremely individualistic so talking about yourself is one of the easiest things to do. Here, people don’t see themselves as individuals, but instead as one small, unique part of a large connected web that includes the environment, their ancestors, and God. Even in the short time I have been here I have learned so much about counseling and relating to clients in different cultures. So, now that I am starting to understand the differences I am trying to change the program to better suit the needs of the population. I’m such a perfectionist that it’s hard for me to not just be able to come in and fix everything right away, but I think that’s some sort of Western Superman (or in this case Superwoman) complex that I need to get over. I am continuing to plan for our next social group which is the last Saturday of the month. I am doing the meditation and giving a talk on positive communication skills. We are also going to introduce the idea of money making schemes to the women, such as making soap, oil and yogurt to sell for profit. Luckily, Shirley taught me how to make yogurt, so I can be of some help. We have invited many more clients, so if the numbers are too big we will have to split them into two groups. I am so excited about this group! Also, I am giving the meditation for the entire hospital staff on Monday, Aghhh, so nervous!

Social Life: Well, Rev. Abwenzoh, Maryann, the Matron (Judith), Agie, and Erik (Agie’s neighbor who is a bikeman) still take up the majority of my free time which really isn’t much. After I get home from work, my door bell is usually ringing within ten minutes, ha. I really feel like I have a family here already which is wonderful. There is also a new addition to the fam I have developed here, her name is Pastor Janet. She is basically the most amazing woman. She is so passionate, free, welcoming, engaging, faithful, and has this childlike exuberance about everything she does. I met her at this Pastor’s Meeting (the pastors gather once a month to talk about church issues, learn together and spend time with one another) that I attended with Rev. Abwenzoh (he really involves me in every aspect of church life and his family life too, which I appreciate so much!). Pastor Jan and I hit it off and it turns out she is friends with Agie also, so that’s another budding friendship which is exciting! In most social settings, I am the youngest by at least ten years (except when Jan is there, then it’s only 6 years.) I have always felt really comfortable with my elders, so it’s not much of a problem, but sometimes I crave time with people my own age, so I am trying to develop more of those relationships.

Maryann sends her girls over fairly often, so then I get to hang with some people my own age which is a nice change of pace. I also attend the Christian Youth Fellowship (CYF) meetings at my church. There are two meetings a week, but I can usually only make it to one because of my work schedule. I am developing some good friendships there. Friendships are just a lot different here. You can be friends with someone for years and still know nothing about their personal life. Those of you who know me well, or actually know me at all, will understand that this is not my style whatsoever. Most people are shocked at how open and free I am, but that’s something I’m just not willing to change. I think it’s a positive thing to be open and honest and even though culturally it’s very different than what they are use to most of the people I am meeting seem to be very receptive and appreciative of it. It’s almost a way of letting them know that I really want to be here and get to know them. So, that’s working out well.

My friends from the CYF are also teaching me how to dance. Those of you have been here will know how hilarious this is. Harvest (which is a time of Thanksgiving in the congregations, a big fundraising season) just began at our church which means we had a four and a half hour long service last Sunday, ha. Every group and movement in the church danced down the aisle and gave their donations. It was very energetic and joyous, I LOVED it! So, I had to dance down with the CYF, wearing my gorgeous kaba of course, and the entire congregation thought it was hilarious! Haha. Oh goodness, so embarrassing, but pretty funny. I’ve been practicing, so hopefully I will impress them with my dance skills in no time. The kids have actually been very welcoming to me. At the auction this past Thursday, one boy even bought me a package of Kleenex and danced over and gave it to me. Haha. So, I think they are starting to accept me.

Other random tidbits: Well, Agie continues to tell me that no man will ever want to marry me if I don’t learn the things a woman should know: cooking, cleaning and laundry. Aghhh, everything I hate in life. So, we have weekly (more like daily) lessons on mopping floors, cooking, trying to get rid of the THOUSANDS of ants that I live with. Basically, I have realized that Agie’s ten year old niece who lives with her is way more of a woman than I will ever be according to Agie’s standards. Haha, but I might just be okay with that. I am learning how to balance really heavy things on my head though which is exciting! Not necessarily a skill I will use often back in the states, but still fun to learn nonetheless.

I have been sick for about the past week. Not a big deal, no need for concern. Once Rev. Abwenzoh got word of my cold he rushed to my side with medication in about ten seconds flat. I am starting to feel better after a couple days of rest and all of the cough medicine, eye drops and pills they have me taking. And lucky for me, cough medicine here is way more delicious than in the US, it tastes like cinnamon, so that was an added bonus.

I have officially found my husband. Well, not officially, I guess. But, I am getting love notes, haha. It was so adorable. While sitting in my room one night somebody shoved something under my door. It was this cute little note. There was a flower on it and the note said “Hello. This flower is for you. Tomorro I will lake to see you,” (spelling errors included). Haha. It was from this ten year old boy who lives down the street from me. His mom works at the hospital and she got word of the little love letter her son left for me. Of course, she was horrified and her son was in big trouble for being so bold at such a young age. But, she also thought it was hilarious, so she now refers to me as her wife and talks about bringing me back to her village and introducing me to the family, haha, and sometimes she gives me free little cakes and things, so I’m okay pretending to be the wife for now.

Ohh, hilarious anecdote of the week: Hmmm. Probably not as hilarious as getting hot pepper up my nose and snorting milk, but here it goes. Agie and I took a taxi back from visiting Pastor Jan. Apparently, some big festival had just ended so there were TONS of people who needed taxis. And let me tell you, they CRAM people into taxis here. So, it was just me, Agie and one other woman in the car when we happened upon this festival. Oh man, within seconds our car was packed: 4 people in the front seat, 5 in the back, one on the hood of the car (sort of "ghostriding" for those of you who get the reference), and three in the trunk (playing drums and singing)! The Cameroonians definitely make use of every single part of the vehicle, that’s for sure. I was scared to death of course, the lack of seat belts not helping, my eyes were probably as big as saucers and I was squeezing Agie’s hand as tightly as I could. She just laughed at me, hysterically. I thought Agie was just laughing because she always laughs at how much I worry and how scared I am all the time, but I didn’t really know why every person we passed was laughing so hard because really a car packed this full isn’t a rare sight around here. Well, little did I know, the entire time the men in the back were serenading the whiteman (me) and I was completely oblivious. Haha. Jokes on me per usual. I bet it did look pretty hilarious.

PICTURES!!!! Get excited! Not too many because I am terrible at remembering to bring my camera places, but here is a little taste. I swear I will start taking more pics soon!

My wonderful apartment! Eat your hearts out, folks!



My living room. My roommates will attest to the fact that I never actually move in anywhere that I live, so there is a good chance it will look like this until the day that I leave, unless Agie has something to say about it.



My kitchen. Probably about half the size of a normal closet in the US. By far, the warmest place in the house. Agh.



My bathroom. And yes, those are my clothes drying in the background.



My "friend" who loves to leave me presents on my doorstep just about every other day.



I forced the Matron, Judith, to take a picture with me without giving her time to prepare. She wasn't pleased, but she looks wonderful.



Agie! Of course, she is looking beautiful as ever. And cut the camera man a little slack, it was his first time taking pictures with my camera.



Agie (my mami) and Dennis (my baby bro) lounging at my place.



One of my new dresses! I'm totally embarrassed in this picture. Agie just had to help me get dressed for ten minutes because the dress was so tight and then forced me to pose for a picture while shouting "African Girl" at me, haha, oh man, I love her.



Hope you enjoyed my extremely long winded update. I will try to write more frequently so you aren't so overwhelmed next time. Of course, I keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers! Until next time.