I like the dream of the future not the history of the past.

I’m sorry I haven’t had the chance to write lately, but things have been crazy busy. I don’t really even know where to start. I will break it down into subsections to make it easy to read and understand the various areas of my life right now. Get ready for a long one. Maybe there will be a little treat at the end so you definitely want to read the entire thing!

Work: Well, I’m still struggling a bit. As I mentioned before, the program I am using was developed in Europe and is used in South Africa (basically still Europe), so it is not really translating that well into this culture. I think the idea of memory work will be able to work here eventually and be extremely beneficial, but the memory book activity itself is not really such a big hit. The song lyric I used to title this post is from a song we sing in church and is the perfect explanation for why the activity is not working. The clients don’t want to think about their past, in fact, most of them don’t know a lot about their pasts, for example their family backgrounds. Every client I have talked to wants to focus on how he/she can begin to feel free from worry and bitterness and live positively now.

So, most of what I end up doing is Christian counseling. We set up an action plan for the client for the following week, three things he/she will do that helps them to relax and feel free. Usually at least one of these things has to do with his/her faith (e.g. going to church, reading bible passages, singing church hymns). Then, the client comes back the following week, we discuss any problems or questions that came up, discuss bible passages, and start a new plan for the next week. It seems to be going well and I think it’s a good process for the patient to begin to open up and feel comfortable talking.

Psychology is very different here than in the West. The West is extremely individualistic so talking about yourself is one of the easiest things to do. Here, people don’t see themselves as individuals, but instead as one small, unique part of a large connected web that includes the environment, their ancestors, and God. Even in the short time I have been here I have learned so much about counseling and relating to clients in different cultures. So, now that I am starting to understand the differences I am trying to change the program to better suit the needs of the population. I’m such a perfectionist that it’s hard for me to not just be able to come in and fix everything right away, but I think that’s some sort of Western Superman (or in this case Superwoman) complex that I need to get over. I am continuing to plan for our next social group which is the last Saturday of the month. I am doing the meditation and giving a talk on positive communication skills. We are also going to introduce the idea of money making schemes to the women, such as making soap, oil and yogurt to sell for profit. Luckily, Shirley taught me how to make yogurt, so I can be of some help. We have invited many more clients, so if the numbers are too big we will have to split them into two groups. I am so excited about this group! Also, I am giving the meditation for the entire hospital staff on Monday, Aghhh, so nervous!

Social Life: Well, Rev. Abwenzoh, Maryann, the Matron (Judith), Agie, and Erik (Agie’s neighbor who is a bikeman) still take up the majority of my free time which really isn’t much. After I get home from work, my door bell is usually ringing within ten minutes, ha. I really feel like I have a family here already which is wonderful. There is also a new addition to the fam I have developed here, her name is Pastor Janet. She is basically the most amazing woman. She is so passionate, free, welcoming, engaging, faithful, and has this childlike exuberance about everything she does. I met her at this Pastor’s Meeting (the pastors gather once a month to talk about church issues, learn together and spend time with one another) that I attended with Rev. Abwenzoh (he really involves me in every aspect of church life and his family life too, which I appreciate so much!). Pastor Jan and I hit it off and it turns out she is friends with Agie also, so that’s another budding friendship which is exciting! In most social settings, I am the youngest by at least ten years (except when Jan is there, then it’s only 6 years.) I have always felt really comfortable with my elders, so it’s not much of a problem, but sometimes I crave time with people my own age, so I am trying to develop more of those relationships.

Maryann sends her girls over fairly often, so then I get to hang with some people my own age which is a nice change of pace. I also attend the Christian Youth Fellowship (CYF) meetings at my church. There are two meetings a week, but I can usually only make it to one because of my work schedule. I am developing some good friendships there. Friendships are just a lot different here. You can be friends with someone for years and still know nothing about their personal life. Those of you who know me well, or actually know me at all, will understand that this is not my style whatsoever. Most people are shocked at how open and free I am, but that’s something I’m just not willing to change. I think it’s a positive thing to be open and honest and even though culturally it’s very different than what they are use to most of the people I am meeting seem to be very receptive and appreciative of it. It’s almost a way of letting them know that I really want to be here and get to know them. So, that’s working out well.

My friends from the CYF are also teaching me how to dance. Those of you have been here will know how hilarious this is. Harvest (which is a time of Thanksgiving in the congregations, a big fundraising season) just began at our church which means we had a four and a half hour long service last Sunday, ha. Every group and movement in the church danced down the aisle and gave their donations. It was very energetic and joyous, I LOVED it! So, I had to dance down with the CYF, wearing my gorgeous kaba of course, and the entire congregation thought it was hilarious! Haha. Oh goodness, so embarrassing, but pretty funny. I’ve been practicing, so hopefully I will impress them with my dance skills in no time. The kids have actually been very welcoming to me. At the auction this past Thursday, one boy even bought me a package of Kleenex and danced over and gave it to me. Haha. So, I think they are starting to accept me.

Other random tidbits: Well, Agie continues to tell me that no man will ever want to marry me if I don’t learn the things a woman should know: cooking, cleaning and laundry. Aghhh, everything I hate in life. So, we have weekly (more like daily) lessons on mopping floors, cooking, trying to get rid of the THOUSANDS of ants that I live with. Basically, I have realized that Agie’s ten year old niece who lives with her is way more of a woman than I will ever be according to Agie’s standards. Haha, but I might just be okay with that. I am learning how to balance really heavy things on my head though which is exciting! Not necessarily a skill I will use often back in the states, but still fun to learn nonetheless.

I have been sick for about the past week. Not a big deal, no need for concern. Once Rev. Abwenzoh got word of my cold he rushed to my side with medication in about ten seconds flat. I am starting to feel better after a couple days of rest and all of the cough medicine, eye drops and pills they have me taking. And lucky for me, cough medicine here is way more delicious than in the US, it tastes like cinnamon, so that was an added bonus.

I have officially found my husband. Well, not officially, I guess. But, I am getting love notes, haha. It was so adorable. While sitting in my room one night somebody shoved something under my door. It was this cute little note. There was a flower on it and the note said “Hello. This flower is for you. Tomorro I will lake to see you,” (spelling errors included). Haha. It was from this ten year old boy who lives down the street from me. His mom works at the hospital and she got word of the little love letter her son left for me. Of course, she was horrified and her son was in big trouble for being so bold at such a young age. But, she also thought it was hilarious, so she now refers to me as her wife and talks about bringing me back to her village and introducing me to the family, haha, and sometimes she gives me free little cakes and things, so I’m okay pretending to be the wife for now.

Ohh, hilarious anecdote of the week: Hmmm. Probably not as hilarious as getting hot pepper up my nose and snorting milk, but here it goes. Agie and I took a taxi back from visiting Pastor Jan. Apparently, some big festival had just ended so there were TONS of people who needed taxis. And let me tell you, they CRAM people into taxis here. So, it was just me, Agie and one other woman in the car when we happened upon this festival. Oh man, within seconds our car was packed: 4 people in the front seat, 5 in the back, one on the hood of the car (sort of "ghostriding" for those of you who get the reference), and three in the trunk (playing drums and singing)! The Cameroonians definitely make use of every single part of the vehicle, that’s for sure. I was scared to death of course, the lack of seat belts not helping, my eyes were probably as big as saucers and I was squeezing Agie’s hand as tightly as I could. She just laughed at me, hysterically. I thought Agie was just laughing because she always laughs at how much I worry and how scared I am all the time, but I didn’t really know why every person we passed was laughing so hard because really a car packed this full isn’t a rare sight around here. Well, little did I know, the entire time the men in the back were serenading the whiteman (me) and I was completely oblivious. Haha. Jokes on me per usual. I bet it did look pretty hilarious.

PICTURES!!!! Get excited! Not too many because I am terrible at remembering to bring my camera places, but here is a little taste. I swear I will start taking more pics soon!

My wonderful apartment! Eat your hearts out, folks!



My living room. My roommates will attest to the fact that I never actually move in anywhere that I live, so there is a good chance it will look like this until the day that I leave, unless Agie has something to say about it.



My kitchen. Probably about half the size of a normal closet in the US. By far, the warmest place in the house. Agh.



My bathroom. And yes, those are my clothes drying in the background.



My "friend" who loves to leave me presents on my doorstep just about every other day.



I forced the Matron, Judith, to take a picture with me without giving her time to prepare. She wasn't pleased, but she looks wonderful.



Agie! Of course, she is looking beautiful as ever. And cut the camera man a little slack, it was his first time taking pictures with my camera.



Agie (my mami) and Dennis (my baby bro) lounging at my place.



One of my new dresses! I'm totally embarrassed in this picture. Agie just had to help me get dressed for ten minutes because the dress was so tight and then forced me to pose for a picture while shouting "African Girl" at me, haha, oh man, I love her.



Hope you enjoyed my extremely long winded update. I will try to write more frequently so you aren't so overwhelmed next time. Of course, I keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers! Until next time.